Tomorrow is your first day of kindergarten. Where, oh where, did the time go? While these photos from your birth day don’t seem like they happened yesterday, they also don’t seem like they happened almost six years ago. I barely recognize those two adults in those pictures. We had no idea what an amazing journey we were beginning. Your dad and I joke that we can barely remember what our life was like before you arrived, and it’s true. I think we used to go to work, come home, make dinner, and then watch TV until it was time to go to bed. We have little recollection of it, except that it was easy and pretty fun. Life is less easy now but definitely more fun, and filled with a type of joy and love that we did not know was possible until you arrived.
In the last 5 years I’ve learned a bit about what it means to be a mother. I am still learning, but you have been exceedingly patient with me, and I love you so much for that. The beginning was filled with a lot of anxiety and doubt, but these days I feel more “myself” than I ever have in my life, and you helped me find that.
Tonight I have so many thoughts swimming around in my head. It feels like an ending, though I know it’s going to be a wonderful beginning for you as you start your school years. I am excited, worried, proud, scared, anxious, happy, giddy all rolled up together. I know you are ready for school, and that you’re mostly going to rock it! When things are tough or you are scared or hurt, I’ll be here to help you find your way and support you as you figure things out.
I still remember the exact words I said to Baba when Dr. Lin told us that I was pregnant with twins. “Avery’s gonna be PISSED.” (Avery, that’s another word that you must be >18 years old to use) But you know what? You completely surprised me and exceeded any expectations of what it would be like for you to have two babies join our family. You are such an amazing big sister to Morgs and Benny, and they already miss you so much now that you’re not at the same school as them. I hope you will always look out for them, play with them, and have a strong sibling bond with the two of them. They really adore you and look up to you.
Your backpack is packed, and your lunch is ready. Sleep tight, my pumpkin. Tomorrow is a big day. I love you so very much.